1984+Essay

This morning I awoke to the most horribly piercing sound you could ever imagine. It gives me a headache every time I hear it. To start off the day, Goldstein appeared on my telescreen and made all of us do Physical Jerks. While doing this, I was thinking about how no stories were told about Big Brother until 1960, but the stories told about him took place in the 1930’s. As I was thinking about this, Goldstein singled me out on the telescreen and told me to try harder during the workout and to get my hands closer to my toes while stretching.

For some reason, my bones felt especially brittle this morning. I was up late last night listening to the telescreens making strange noises that sounded somewhat like bombings or dogs barking. These sounds puzzled my mind and kept me up which restricted the hours of sleep that I got. I also could not stop thinking of shirtless girls running towards me in the Golden Country. It has been a long time since I had had any sexual involvement, but the most recent was with a prostitute. I know that they wanted me to feel like it was my duty to have sex and reproduce, but no matter what they say it still brought me joy.

I have my back turned to the telescreen now. If they knew what I was doing, I would be taken by the Thought Police for sure. I had to get my feelings out somehow and writing in my diary was how I was going to do it. I keep seeing this beautiful brunette as I am in the lunch room, or just walking to work. Some days I would see her and some days I would not.

Syme came over to me at lunch and talked to me about the eleventh edition of the Newspeak Dictionary. He said that this version would be about half as thick and would not contain any of the words that involved revolution or rebelling.”If there are no words for these actions, odds are that they won’t take place,” Syme explained to me. I thought this was rather absurd, but expressing how I felt could end in a fatal manor. I personally feel that any person should be allowed to act as they choose, but this would be an unheard of statement in this day.

I saw her from across the lunch room. Walking towards me as I was walking toward her. I noticed as we got closer that her arm was in a sling. I didn’t notice this from afar because it almost blended in with her overalls. All of a sudden, she trips and my heart sinks. I go over to her and ask if she is alright, hoping this wouldn’t get me in trouble with the thought police. “Yes,” she replies, “Just tweaked wrist, that’s all.” As she tries to get up, I reach my hand out to her and as she grabs it, she secretly hands me a note.

As I am back in my room, I sit with my back turned to the telescreen for approximately five minutes before opening the note. I did this so they wouldn’t get suspicious of my arms moving as soon as I turned my back to them. As I began to unfold the paper, I began to fear that they were death sentences or suicide demands from the though police. As these fears crossed my mind, I read what the letter actually displayed, “I Love You.”

The joy that this brought to me made me feel like I wanted to continue living. The girl that I has admired from a distance had handed me a note telling me that she loved me!

The next couple of days I didn’t see her in the lunchroom and this scared me because I thought she might have been taken away or removed to the other side of Oceania. Around five days later I saw her and even sat at her table. We didn’t want it to look suspicious so we both looked down at our foods and conserved.

We came up with a place to meet and I didn’t know what to expect when I got there. I went to Victory Square which is where she told me to be and it turns out, we both wanted to the same thing…we made love.